Sometimes things happen that turn your mood around. Usually when you least expect them to. You're stuck in a rut and you can't see a way out...but then a little, unexpected moment occurs that makes things brighter.
This morning I was washing up some cups in the kitchen and looked up to see a squirrel on the fence standing on its back legs, paws resting on its tummy, head turned to one side, just looking at me. It sat there for about ten seconds, just looking, and then scurried away. It made me smile, and think of the other times that things like that have happened to help me along the way. Last year, I was walking along, not the happiest of souls, and a little robin flew across the path in front of me (so close that I had to duck to miss it) and landed on a holly tree, that I'd never realised was there before.
These things happen from time to time...but I was thinking...it's usually music that helps me. I don't know what I'd do without it. Sometimes I can be listening to a piece of music and suddenly feel positive after feeling lost and confused. I know this isn't a miraculous discovery...it's the reason why people listen to music! But I want to share some songs with you that are very important to me, and tell you why.
My "squirrel moment" songs!
1. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
This recording of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" was given to me by my friend, and the moment I heard it, I knew what I wanted to be in life. I loved it so much. To me, it's self expression in its finest form. It made me want to express myself through music, because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it so explicitly any other way.
2. Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell
I simply love this song, but I don't understand it. I think I seek comfort in the fact that I don't understand it. It seems like Joni doesn't really know where she's going either, and that makes me feel better. It's always good to know you're not alone, and I discovered this when I felt I was being pulled in all directions, and couldn't work out which one I was meant to go in. When I feel like that, I tend to just go into myself, so I don't take my confusion out on those around me. And I guess I push people away. But then I'm alone, and I hate feeling alone...gr! Anyway...this song helped me in one of those times.
3. Wait It Out - Imogen Heap
I'm the most impatient person that I know and this song, somehow, calms me a little. I guess because it's about the frustration of waiting. And I feel like it's saying...don't wait. I love the way it sounds, and think Imogen Heap is incredibly creative. (She makes all the sounds herself - using anything that sounds good - sometimes even old toys etc.) Best enjoyed very loud, in headphones.
4. Fearless Love - Melissa Etheridge
This is how love should be I think. Someone loving you for who you are, and you, not being afraid to be exactly who you want to be. I'm fed up of wondering what someone thinks of me, or thinking "so-and-so might like it if I do that"...I'm not talking about making a cup of tea for someone...that's always nice unless the recipient doesn't like tea, or you've spiked it...I mean changing the way you are to fit someone else's ideals. I'm not doing that. I've done it before, and I hate that I did. I was just blind. I was with a guy who liked it when I wore dresses, and I pretty much gave all my trousers away. Then I found out that he'd been lying to me throughout our whole relationship, so when it ended, I was left with no love and no trousers. A sad sad situation.
5. This Isn't Everything You Are - Snow Patrol
This last one is my song of today. I love the sound of this. (I love Snow Patrol.) And I love the way it lifts me right now. That is all. :) A new day, and a new beginning. And I'm going to go trouser shopping.
Over and out. xxxxx