Sunday, 30 October 2011

Bit of a whinge.

Hello everyone. :)

How are we all?

I'm sorry it has been a while. To be honest, I've been struggling a little with things. (This next bit is going to be one mega whiny explanation/rant - you have been warned! ;))

(*Takes a deep breath*) Weeeell...lots of little annoying things kept making me feel bad, and then I started feeling bad all the time and then my back started really hurting and I sprained my ankle about a month and a half ago and it hasn't gone away and I went to the doctors and I have an 'non-healing ligament' and I have to have physiotherapy for my 'back' which is actually my coccyx. I have a thing called 'coccydynia' which is a pain in the bum (Literally. *Chortle*.). And during visits to the docs etc. my hard drive decided that it didn't want to work anymore. So I had to get a new one of them. Not cool. Because I was a hopeless with my backups I lost a lot of stuff...and then my computer wouldn't go back to the most recent backup, so now I'm back at March which is highly uncool. (I am now backing up every day.) I'm also struggling a ridiculous amount with my Uni work. I feel really behind and I don't have a clue what I'm doing. So I'm quite down in the dumps at the moment.
Whiny rant over!

I always feel bad for feeling bad over such silly little things when there are people who are putting up with much worse.

I'd better go and crack on with this work...whining isn't going to sort things out.

To continue the slightly miserable theme, I shall leave you with this slightly miserable song that I wrote. - Recorded by the lovely Iain Berryman at Uni.

 Waiting For Time by hollykirby

TTFN xxxx


mercury said...

Oh Holly, ich mache mir ernsthaft Sorgen um Dich! Eine chronische mit starken Schmerzen verbundene Krankheit ist keine Kleinigkeit. Bänderrisse und alles was daraus folgt sind wirklich eine schlimme Angelegenheit und dürfen nicht auf die leichte Schulter genommen werden. Aber ich will Dir keinen medizinischen Vortrag halten. Es tut einfach weh, einen geliebten Menschen leiden zu wissen.
Die Sache mit der Festplatte gehört dagegen eher zu den Dingen, wo jeder einmal Lehrgeld zahlen muss.
Der Song ist im Übrigen auch in seiner Traurigkeit außerordentlich schön und alles andere als 'miserable' also bemitleidenswert. Ich würde sogar behaupten, dass er verdient auf Deiner neuen CD zu erscheinen.
Ich wünsche Dir auf jeden Fall eine baldige Genesung und mir wünsche ich Flügel!
Da schleicht gerade Kitty die Katze ins Zimmer herein. Ich werde mal ein paar neue Bilder von ihr auf Google Plus veröffentlichen. Was macht übrigens Violet?

Tony said...

Hi Holly, Why on Earth are you apologising for having a whinge? It's what we Brits are famous for after all, and it hurts no one else, can make you feel better and is an all round healthy thing to do. Just imagine if all those pent up "woe is me" and "omg, life sucks" feelings were left pent up...Krakatoa-like manifestastions could result. So let it out!

To practical matters...Back pain, had it all my life so am familiar with both the completely horrible pain; which is made worse cos unlike a broken leg or black eye, nothing shows so no automatic sympathy from others. Also I have a few tips that "might" help.
The only way I can sit comfortably is in a seat with a back that can recline. This seems to put less direct pressure on the lower back. I have also found that I have one side that I sleep on that hurts much less than the other when I wake up. Lots more stuff about dealing with back pain but won't bore you with it, if you want more just drop a mail to Dr.Pain R Us at my addy.

With the hard drive I always backup to an external drive. It not only ensures I always have a copy of all my stufz, but I can clear any film or other large files off the active hard drive. You can get a 1 or 2 terabyte external drive from Amazon for under £70.

As regards the "haven't a clue" bit, firstly that is the tutors fault, pester him/her to explain it better. Secondly, find the nerd or geek that does know it and maybe they can explain it better than the tutor. I would offer, but as has been previously stated, my musical knowledge extends to "That sounds good" or "earplugs please"
Speaking of which, I found your song definitely fell in the "That sounds good" class. I loved the breathy tone of your singing in it.

Pep Talk:
Pull yourself together
Shoulder to the wheel
Pull your socks up
Nose to the grindstone
It's only a fractured spine soldier, Walk it off
It's darkest before the dawn
Every cloud has a silver lining

Each and every one of those should make you want to punch the person saying them in the mouth, which is a great way to relieve stress!

One of these days I will learn how to say more with less words :p

Hugs as ever (gentle ones at the moment, don't want to make your pain in bum worse after all.)

me said...

Great advice Tony ~ couldn't put it better myself :)
Remember 'RKid that when you feel horrid like this, the only way is UP (there's a song about that somewhere methinks :)).
Terry has a good point about your lack of knowledge in your work too ~ I thought you were at uni to be taught by the tutors. You have said that they are all great, so don't be afraid to ASK!! ~ they are there to help and I am sure they will be happy to.
The 'Isle of Wight Mug Song' (I will always think of it as that after your gig :)) is brilliant. Guitar sounds great too ~ is it Delilah?
ONWARDS AND UPWARDS !!!!!!!!!!! xxx

mercury said...

There is something strange and violent about advice. Sometimes they are like masques to hide my own cluelessness and cowardice. Then my 'lyrical ego' looks at me with stern cat eyes and raises an objection: 'You are digging the trenches deeper.'

TV said...

It's kind of normal to feel bad about bad things, isn't it? I mean, people suffering worse don't actually make you feel better.
But I have an idea for your PC: Download Ubuntu, burn it to a CD and try accessing your old hard drive with this Live-CD. For me it works with broken HDs.

Get better!!!

P.S. Great song :)

mercury said...

Good idea TV! And then transferring the data to an external harddisk by simply copying it. Accessing the broken harddisk by a CD-bootable Linux-System may solve the problem. Here is the link to an actual Ubuntu-Live-CD-System
Isn't there an Uncle Tim in the background?

yizhivika said...

‘It never rains but it pours.’ The confluence of sprained ankle, coccydynia (ouch!), crashed hard disk and feeling out of your depths at times on your university course, is enough to take its toll on the sunniest of spirits, Holly, so, as Tony says above, don’t apologise for having a bit of a whinge; I also think it’s important to give expression to such feelings, in some form or other, whether it be in a blog, in a personal diary, in discussion with close friends or family, or in some other therapeutic way.
In the case of you (;)), you’re blessed with a talent for song-writing, and you have a beautiful singing voice, so, to co-opt another idiomatic phrase, ‘it’s an ill-wind that blows no good’. Very many beautiful songs have arisen out of the depths of personal unhappiness, of whatever form, and you therefore have this innate avenue of self-expression to give vent to your feelings.
For myself, when I’ve found myself crossing the bleaker landscapes of my past, I’ve sought consolation in keeping a personal diary, and also in poetry, either trying to write my own, or reading other writer’s. At one time, I had a particular affection for the poetry of a late Czech poet, Vladimir Holan, and even now, his words come back to me, given the occasion....’Even tonight will pass...’.
Anyway, this evening I’m going to see Elkie Brooks in concert at the Ferneham Halls, and I dare say, at some point, she’ll launch into “Sunshine after the Rain”. When she does, I imagine that you might cross my mind ;) x

yizhivika said...

... for writer's, read writers'. Sloppy proof-reading... :)

mercury said...

Irgendwie unbefriedigend diese Be(raterei), zu viel Monolog(medienbedingt) und zu wenig Dialog! Dann mischt auch noch die Mutter mit - das kann nichts werden!!! Es geht per se vorwärts und aufwärts. Wo steckt eigentlch der Vater?

TV said...

Es ist doch schön, wie jeder was Schlaues zu sagen hat aber niemand sagt tatsächlich etwas :D

xenonrush said...

Do you keep track of how the others on your course are finding the work. Sometimes CC#1 used to feel he wasn't doing well so I used to ask him how the others were doing. When he found out they weren't any better off than him he felt a lot better. And advice about getting help from those who do find it less difficult is always good.
Backups are such an essential part of computer use I find it amazing the number of people who don't do it. Matthew Pinsent (the rower) lost his autobiography and all his son's baby pics when his PC was stolen. Nothing backed up. I hope you don't forget in the future.
I thought your 'slightly miserable' song was very soothing with a great sound. I'm sure by the time you get to read this you will have finished all your work and will be in the student bar with a glass of cider in you hand. :)

mercury said...

TV inspired me to do this little poem:


Obwohl ich rede, schweige ich.
Aus dunklen Grüften steige ich.
Mir ist, als suchte ich nach was.
Doch meine Haut ist leichenblass.
Die Augen starren stumpf und leer,
mein Gang so schleppend und so schwer.

Die Kälte steckt mir im Gebein.
Es wärmt mich kein Likör, kein Wein.
ich trage klagend meine Last.
Das Leben habe ich verpasst
und auch zum Sterben reicht es nicht.
(Ein wahrlich trauriges Gedicht)

H said...

Thank you so much for everyone for your lovely words of encouragement. :) Massive (((HUGS)))! Things are looking up now... :) well - I'm looking up! Lol. It was never the 'things' that had the problem. I'm getting on with my essay and now I've got just under 1000 words to go. I'm confident I'm going along the right lines...I think. :-S Hopefully it'll be the kind of thing our lecturer is looking for. xxxxxxx

H said...

*to* everyone...great proof reading. ;)

Tony said...

ATTAGIRL Holly!! Go get 'em.

**Tony does the "Snoopy Dance" whilst humming a few bars of "We shall overcome."

Graham E said...

Owch! I damaged my spine in a bike accident many years ago. No advice from me, just empathy. Until you've been there, no-one even has the capacity to understand what it's like. In fact I lapse into back issues rather too regularly. So my solution is strong drugs, a comfortable bed and a good massage.

As for the hard drive issue, whatever you do don't let them take the hard drive in exchange for a replacement. Information is recoverable. PM me for solutions.

Glad you're feeling better. Any gigs later this month?


Lorne said...

Hope you're feeling better. I just listened to your version of May It Be. A very beautiful song. Thank you for sharing your voice.