Saturday, 25 April 2009

Que Sera, Sera...

Wow, this has been a pretty tiring first week back! :-S In good ways and bad ways. I loved going to see Evita yesterday, but I feel drained after this whole ongoing issue thing. Hopefully we'll get some closure soon - I will be able to move on when I've spoken to him face to face.

I had Music this afternoon. I always find the lessons really hard. It's almost like learning a new language. Apparently it's the third hardest A-Level - after Further Maths and Physics - that's what I keep telling myself whenever I'm finding it too hard. There's so much to remember - our teacher says it's like a huge memory test. We have to remember literally every musical feature in about 6 pieces from film/tv scores and also 3 pieces from the pop/jazz part of the course...as well as knowing about the forms, themes, characteristics of the musical eras, being able to perform pieces of music to a high standard, write bach chorales and baroque counterpoints, compose pieces of music to a high standard...it's such a challenge.

Last July I went on a week's summer school at Oxford University to do music. I found it really interesting and fell in love with the University. I was so disappointed when my music teacher told me that she really didn't think I could get an A - for Oxford your results need to be AAA - and I'm apparently on target for two As in German and English Lit - so Music was so disappointing. If I get two As for English Lit and German I might try to stay on at school in my gap year and do an A-Level in a year - which means going in for about 8 hours a week. I'm thinking about it. I'd really love to leave school with three As, that would be brilliant. I might try to study English Literature at Oxford, that would be wonderful.

I'm not 100% sure that I'd want to study music anyway. Part of the reason why I love music so much is the fact that it contains so much raw emotion. A song comes from the heart, it's a spontaneous moment, a very personal thought. Analysing it in the depth that we do at school makes it seem so mechanical and contrived. We listen to music for pleasure, to reassure ourselves that we're not alone, to become involved in the emotions of the composer - not to analyse every single chord and try to find a formula responsible for making us feel the way we do. Creativity can't be explained - and explaining it shouldn't be attempted. Part of the magic is the mystery.

I'd better go now; it's getting late and I have a long weekend of revision ahead of me!

Night xxxxxx

4 comments:

David (Bud) said...

Wow! Did you ever realize that another one of your awesome talents is being a writer, Holly? Everybody else is so busy going "beauty, beauty, beauty", "singer, singer, singer" that they miss the writer in you too!The way you condensed it all was so cool.
I'm going to withhold any observations of my own here on the subject. Why? Yours just blew me away! The way you described it I can't improve upon.
Holly, you are so often so brill in your observations...and you always seem to have something worthwhile and important to say when you do make them.
And as for closure, yeah! It would be nice for you. It'd be nice for a lot of people. But some of us (me for instance) really need to work on letting a few things go. You're probably aware of them by now, and the sooner I can find my own, the better off I'll be.
Good luck in the journey, my friend. Best wishes in it...

LarryC said...

Your thoughts about music are interesting to contemplate. It kind of seems like the thing would fit me in reverse, lol. I do not know a thing in the world about music except; I know what I like, what is very special to me, without any mechanics or reason; I know what does not do it for me. Again, in my listening ignorance. But I sort of understand where the teaching is coming from. Just glad we serious listeners do not need it, LOL! Glad to hear you are thinking through on your options!

evil.live said...

When I was very angry with my music teacher, I told her, that Bach would probably have laughed seeing us :D It's the same reason, I don't like the music subject, it is turned into math.

LarryC said...

Good point, TV. Now that I think about it, well, math has always been the language of science, and I have no idea whether or not music is a science but I do see how math is a huge part of it. Timing and Schoenberg's 12-tone method of composition jump right out at me. It is a good thing Schoenberg, Wagner, Webern, Boulez, Monod and my most beloved Rene Leibowitz knew how to count. Oh my.