Today's been a bit of a funny day.
Better than yesterday though. Yesterday I was let down badly by someone I thought was a friend.
A friend of mine decided to steal photos of me and 20 other of my girl friends and post them on a porn site so that people could make them into porn for him. He'd been doing that for a year, and apparently been making money out of it.
At first I was extremely angry and upset, but now I'm just hurt. I feel let down. I feel dirty and disgusting in myself. My picture was merged - quite realistically - with porn. What if someone sees me and recognises my face? I feel paranoid. When someone lets you down like that you wonder who you can trust.
I'm very sensitive and I get hurt very easily. Today I was testing out blogtv for tomorrow and someone came on and started verbally abusing me. I was singing a song I'd written about a very dear friend who committed suicide. I'm sensitive about singing the song - I hardly ever sing it. So when I looked up I was mortified to find all this abuse from a stranger. What's wrong with some people? They have no respect. I feel so disappointed - and it's such a horrible feeling.
It's a shame all the negative emotions seem more prominent. There are so many wonderful people in the world - so many wonderful people doing wonderful things.
When I feel like this I just have to remind myself of the people close to me that I know and love and think about how lucky I am to know them.
Well, it's getting late,
Night night. xxx