Saturday, 18 April 2009

A bit of a funny.


Today's been a bit of a funny day.

Better than yesterday though. Yesterday I was let down badly by someone I thought was a friend.

A friend of mine decided to steal photos of me and 20 other of my girl friends and post them on a porn site so that people could make them into porn for him. He'd been doing that for a year, and apparently been making money out of it.

At first I was extremely angry and upset, but now I'm just hurt. I feel let down. I feel dirty and disgusting in myself. My picture was merged - quite realistically - with porn. What if someone sees me and recognises my face? I feel paranoid. When someone lets you down like that you wonder who you can trust.

I'm very sensitive and I get hurt very easily. Today I was testing out blogtv for tomorrow and someone came on and started verbally abusing me. I was singing a song I'd written about a very dear friend who committed suicide. I'm sensitive about singing the song - I hardly ever sing it. So when I looked up I was mortified to find all this abuse from a stranger. What's wrong with some people? They have no respect. I feel so disappointed - and it's such a horrible feeling.

It's a shame all the negative emotions seem more prominent. There are so many wonderful people in the world - so many wonderful people doing wonderful things.

When I feel like this I just have to remind myself of the people close to me that I know and love and think about how lucky I am to know them.

Well, it's getting late,

Night night. xxx


zmov1 said...

(Got the posting problem fixed)
How very sad that this has happened. The world can sometimes be a nasty place to be. Someone once said that whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Try to be strong and always remember that you were the victim here and had nothing to do with it. So, please do not feel 'dirty and disgusting inside'. Everything that happened, happened outside of you and without your knowledge. You have nothing at all to be ashamed of. Hold your head high and move along. "...and this too shall pass."

David said...

Oh my goodness...what a horrible thing to have happen to such a person of character and integrity. Wow, I didn't know the full extent. I am so sorry, my friend. (tears)
I agree with zmov- do not hold yourself to blame!
I still have the utmost respect for you as my friend, advisor, and musical peer. You are a person of great personal character and integrity.
What this person has done will come back to him in a most unpleasant manner. Whatever a man sows, that shall he reap.